Random things.

*Things that annoy you.

Waiting annoys me. Itches that I can't find and can't unitch annoys me. Hello Kitty, too small shirts, bad makeup days, slow drivers on the fast lane, PEOPLE BREAKING THE SPINE OF MY BOOK (curse you all, you need to die), certain mainstream music, the sound of my mum's voice in the morning, not knowing what to wear, not having enough money for my piercings/tattoo, girls who keep staring at what I wear -.-, and boys (because most of the time because I don't understand them).

*Things that make you smile.

Umm. Kisses on my forehead. Freshly painted self-manicures, long girl talks with Azalea, cold room, cold blanket, cold day, a really really amazing book ending, good music while driving, rediscovering old notes I've written when I was younger, people breathing down my neck (I think this is a natural reaction lol), good headphones when I'm listening to Skrillex, the turn out of good photographs, a good hair day, carrying an amazing conversation for hours, sneaking out and getting back no sweat, hee.

*Things that you dread.

Call/text/see you later? Waiting. For results, for a phone call, for a text, for someone to show up, for a confirmation of an outing. Waiting in general. What comes after 'we need to talk', the moment before confrontation, my period, the sound of my alarm in the morning, the moment before I step into the shower, the last few pages of a really good book, having no iPod cause it's broken -.-, accidentally cutting my shirt wrongly, lectures from my mum haha.

*Things that you love.

Probably, cuddles. Lots and lots of 'em. Really epic movie endings(like Remember Me heh), green tea ice cream with red bean, Japanese food, Justin Nozuka (though he isn't a thing), Star Wars/Potter jokes, troll/meme faces, 9Gag, the moment when I wake up before my alarm and get to sleep more, playing pool with the besties, always having inside jokes with people, my guitar, NME, sleepovers and not sleeping, KCG, little notes tucked inside my books, my imagination, Spongebob (again, not a thing), getting high on candy, talking shit, buying new clothes at a super sale, my blog, my friends, my life.

:)

Believe me, I'm a liar.

Honestly, I find this slightly odd.

I'm sitting out here with my laptop,

the Skull Candies, and my Sex Bom-Omb,

practically 5 inches from the rain.

And I love it out here.

The rain clouds my thinking,

makes me go slightly hazy.

But, today, tragically,

I am feeling rather philosophical.

See love, is really funny.

I'm beginning to find that I'm extremely intrigued by the fundamentals of it.

How it happens, why, with who? Why them.

It's fascinating to watch how people crumble to pieces without talking to their lovers for a day.

For example, my brother haha.

I'm still struggling to find a way to feel that again.

I mean, to feel like I need to live, because of that someone.

Time and time again, when pressure breaks me,

and I have no outlet to escape.

Wouldn't it be beautiful to just have a shoulder to lean on?

Or just to read together in an empty silence that just fills you up.

Love, is like a thirst.

It's like watching people around you drinking orange juice, lemonade, Coke, whatever you name it, on a hot, hot Sunday morning.

You start to feel like you're thirsty.

Even though the process of being thirsty is all in your head.

It's planted there by the things you see.

You look out for a drink,

this amazing wonderful drink.

With the right amount of fizz for excitement,

the color for show,

and a taste that you'll grow accustomed to and love.

It just happens that when you stumble along your way,

you find drinks that satisfy your need for short periods of time,

energy drinks, soft drinks,

that give you a little boost, and gets you along your way.

You toss the empty cans aside like they mean nothing.

Of course, things are hardly done intentionally.

You don't realize what you've done.

Until someone else picks you up,

drains you all out on the inside,

crushes your entire being in his fist.

And let's you free fall.

So, love not found is a lot like thirst.

Unquenchable, hard to find.

But one day, you'll get to the oasis.

And truly, that would be your beautiful begin, or the subtle downfall of your being.

Whore.

My romantic nature is only built on a few strong foundations.

Don't make someone like you if you don't intend to like them back.

Don't say stupid things or agree with me just to impress me.

Don't flip out/be late/stand me up.

Don't lie.

Because a girl knows everything.

And I'd give up forever to touch you.

Sometimes, it's hard to explain the reasons why I do things the way that I do.

I'm different, and on a daily basis,

my life revolves around different things,

as everyone else is.

It's weird, being judged by the way you dress,

your hair color, your nails, your shirts,

the way you talk or burp in public.

It's even worst when you're a girl.

Because if your hair has green streaks in it,

you're looking for attention.

When your skirt's a little higher than half your thigh,

you're asking for it.

When it's at your knees,

you need to get your ass back into the 21st century.

When you have a slit in your dress,

it's slutty.

Or have half painted black nail polish,

and people brand you as a goth.

Sometimes, shit's not that simple.

It's like I hardly get by one day without being judged by the people around me.

Which brings me back to doing things the way I want to do them,

I'm only 18 years and 12 days old once.

If I want to take pictures like a ho,

dye my hair a different color every month,

wear short skirts and dark make up,

leave me be.

Everyday you live, you take another step closer to an inevitable end.

Everyday is another day lost for something amazing that could've happened.

So don't blame me when I spread peanut butter on the ground,

and roll in it like a boss.

If my entertainment fuels your annoying-ness and dissatisfaction about what I am,

and how I don't give a shit,

then so be it.

What makes you think I'll give a shit about youuuuuuuuu.

Do you know what pisses me off?

It's pretty easy to tell what pisses me off actually.

Responsibilities that are dumped on me that aren't mine piss me off.

Limits that are limiting me from doing things I feel I should be allowed to do piss me off.

Blaming me for things I didn't do piss me off.

My tea or coffee going cold piss me off.

Not getting the nose or the mouth right in my sketches piss me off.

But I mean honestly, HONESTLY.

The one thing that pisses me off like crazy.

Are boys who don't understand their own limits when they have girlfriends of their own.

LOOK. OKAY. GET IT IN YOUR MIND NUMBINGLY IDIOTIC THICK SKULLS ONCE AND FOR ALL SO I DON'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE SAME SHIT OF DEALING WITH YOUR STUPID GIRLFRIENDS WHO BLAME ME FOR FLIRTING WITH ALL YOU IDIOTS WHEN YOU ALL START THIS SHIT OFF FIRST. I AM NOT HERE TO REPLACE YOUR GIRLFRIENDS, OR MAKE YOU FEEL HAPPY BECAUSE OF MY CHILDISH HUMOR, NOR AM I HERE TO TAKE THE BLAME FOR A BULLSHIT STUNT YOU PULL ON ME TO SAVE YOUR ASSES THE TROUBLE OF GETTING SHIT FROM YOUR GIRLFRIENDS, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? GOOD.

NUMBER ONE.

Are the boys who have girlfriends but keep it a secret.

I don't need to start to like you halfway through and then find out someway or another that you already have a girlfriend. Nor do I want to know that you're seemingly okay with knowing that you have a girlfriend and not telling me just because I didn't ask. This is STUPID. It's childish and ridiculous, and it makes me feel like an idiot, so much like an idiot, that I would probably shun you, or not be very nice to you, for the rest of my life.

It's not cool, okay. It's not nice, and it definitely is not even close to being funny. I mean, just tell me! What's so wrong with that? UGH. I hate having to deal with the bullshit of finding out, and then having your stupid ass girlfriends calling me or bitching about me online, or bust their fingers out spamming my Formspring telling me I'm messing with the wrong girlfriend, because GEEZ, it's not MY FAULT, that your stupid ass boyfriend didn't tell you that he came to talk to me FIRST.

NUMBER TWO

Guys who find it okay to flirt with you even though they have girlfriends.

THIS IS ALSO VERY BAD.

DO YOU NOT GET WHAT A GIRLFRIEND IS FOR? You can pour out all your bullshit I love you, baby, honey, whatever sickeningly yucky thing you want to call a girl TO HER, NOT to some random person that you just feel like flirting with.

IT'S NOT OKAY, OKAY? NO IT'S NOT. You need to learn how to commit. Either that, or you need to find other ways to let go of this stupid ass need to flirt with people who are not your girlfriend, god damn it. And again, this boils down to your girlfriend calling me up, and swearing at me and calling me names, when clearly it is YOU who are flirting with me, and I am trying to shut you off.

NUMBER THREE.

Guys who admit they like you when they still have girlfriends.

NO NO NO NO DON'T YOU GET IT. It is not possible to tell yourself that you like two girls at the same time. Hell no. You like either this one better, or the other one better. I don't like not knowing who you want to pick. I mean, if you like me more, why don't you just leave her? Ugh, you can't have the satisfaction of having two girls like you. I can't live with the guilt, and I can't live not knowing.

The stupidest part of all this is that you can't let either girls go. So the longer you prolong this shitastic decision, the more it's going to hurt both parties. And the thing with me is that I walk away. I can't stand it when I'm being weighed down like an option. So please, just shut up and be a man, and live with your girlfriend, and stop causing me problems.

So, please, if you are like anyone of the boys above.

GROW THE BUTT UP.

I HATE YOU.

I HATE YOUR STUPID GIRLFRIENDS.

I HATE BEING BLAMED FOR YOUR WRONG DOING.

I HATE BEING BRANDED AS THE PERSON WHO ALWAYS STEALS BOYFRIENDS.

AND I HATE BEING A SECOND OPTION.

K PEACE.

Take it, take it all.

As ya'll know, life has been pretty hectic.

I managed to lose my whole social life aka. my BB in Singapore.

Okay correction, it got stolen.

I mean, I know I'm a technological retard, but not this man.

Come on.

Singapore with the mum was pretty fun overall haha.

We managed to do a whole lot of shopping.

Anyway on a better note (I think),

it's safe to say being back in the arms of NME brings me a lot of relief.

Upon touching down from Singapore, and from the cab.

I come home to a bunch of retards dancing in my house.

Cool, very cool.

So yeah, we won best crowd support.

Props to the non existent ghost crowd who were cheering for us.

Because I clearly remembered all the SILENCE after we were done.

We're still all unsure about our placing in the competition overall but who cares :)

It was fun, altogether and we met some pretty cool ass dancers.

n.M.e's <3

Fuzz, from HMC Phlow, which mind you, is a sexy ass dancer.

Did I forget to mention I got blue and purple streaks done?
Yeah well, there you go.

Me, being well, a typical girl haha.

I'm opening up a blogshop for all the shirts I ripped up in the last few months.

So yeah, to all my little devoted readers,

I'll update you soon.

Till then.

:)

Every boy I choose to love leaves me.

Yes, pathetic as that sounds.

Every single damn time.

It happens.

I don't even need to love them in the way lovers do.

I mean, just friends, in general.

In that way too.

And they always turn out to be boys.

Haha. Go figure.

Story of my life.

I'll blog about him soon.

For now, I have to face a few major problems.

1. Get through Singapore without ripping a hole in my savings.

2. Get through the dance competition and WIN ;)

3. Start up a blogshop for the shirts I so love to cut up.

4. Go out with Yu Hui! Because I miss her so.

5. Get my driver's license on Monday, OH YEAH. (Y)

6. Go over to Ash's to discuss stuff and cut up more shirts.

All this in a week before the holiday ends?
No problem.

They don't call me crazy for no reason.

Tired, again.

Why is my blog always full of negativity?

Au revior.

Tuning into: Skyscraper - Demi Lovato