You Say My Name Like There Could Be An Us.

The trip to Penang was just perfect.

In a way hahaha.

Destresser from my college work.

So yeah, I didn't lose weight like I planned.

But I still could fit into ma bikini?

Hepi? YEHZ.

The food was amazing.

The company I had, amazing-er.

I parasailed even though I have a fear of heights.

Got third place for sandcastle building.

We made Kak into a Kaktopus hahaha.

Got first for impersonating Ms Natasha for a sketch

Pictures are all up.

But I'll just leave you with the few that I edited which turned out quite pretty haha.

Life's funny.

Cliche as it sounds.

I love all it's ups and downs.

More of the ups though.

:)

This was all the ups.

Yup, yup.

Most definitely.

'Bird' in heat.

'Bird' jumping haha.

TUNING INTO: Charlene - Anthony Hamilton

Come on home to me.

Rambling Thoughts at 4am.

That's what I think.

That I can do anything now that I'm stronger.

That I've built up better walls.

Understand that the truth could be a lie.

That I know never to trust until I am very certain.

And never to be naive as a child.

Do you know what it's like, having this feeling.

Having to be guarded all the time.

Filling up all your free hours with work, dance, music.

So there's no room for your heart or head to wonder.

Sometimes, it makes you feel tiny.

Like the smallest person in the world.

With the largest boulder of responsibility on your shoulder.

But sometimes, it makes you feel amazing.

There's no guy out there who can hurt you.

Because you've come out a fighter, stronger than before.

And all it takes,

to tear down all those walls you've struggled to build back,

the smash through your defenses like cotton,

to force your head into the drowning waters of insecurity.

Is just this one picture.

His head slightly tilted towards the camera.

His yellow shirt stark against the white buildings.

His green bag hanging low upon his hips.

His eyes, just looking.

Staring as if he could see into your soul.

That's when you know.

You can try and convince yourself you're all better.

You can try and make your body feel like nothing's missing.

You can try and tell your head that you've got things to do.

Day in, day out, no breaks in between.

But the one thing you cannot fool.

Is your own heart.

Lift Me Off My Feet.

One step into the hotel and you know,

and by you know, I mean YOU KNOW,

it is one crazy prestigious hotel.

I mean, SERIOUSLY.

From the reception to the lift to the rooms is probably 70 meters apart.

I love the smell of hotels.

They always remind me of foreign places, and exciting things to do.

Also of sun tan lotion and beaches!

Royal Chulan is seriously bad ass, just saying.

Anyway, all the talk with this hotel bizz,

is actually for a recent competition.

The seniors of NME have finally tried out for something.

Honestly,

it kind of sucks getting third.

But I don't really care.

The monstrous amount of cheers.

Everyone staring at you once you've stepped off the stage.

Random people coming up to you and telling you that your group was amazing.

Pointing out parts of choreography that you made.

And hands down, the best part of all.

Being able to dance with two of my best friends in the whole wide friggin' world!
Teehee.

Pictures will be up soon.

Then the whole story will be squished in.

For now, it's 12am.

I need to cut music.

Make a crazy alien costume.

Act like I know what to do at the flash mob practice tomorrow.
Figure out costing of printing of T-Shirts.

Settle my driving.

Pay for the stupid lost library book.

Get the itenary list for Penang this weekend.

Wash my hands cause it smells like Gabby the dog.

Find my Meowcat back cause it disappeared :'(

EAT.

Peanut butter jelly bread.

Om nom nom nom.

Long night ahead.

Le sigh of the century.

Friends :)

Well, I've been talking about such obscurities so often,

I want to talk about the things in life that I don't need to hide.

That I don't need to mask beneath my words,

or lace together with ambiguous intentions.

Nope.

These things are as solid as you and me.

It's beautiful, each in it's own way.

And I don't think I'll ever get enough of it.

They're the assholes who fall out of heaven.

No, not because they sin.

Because they're racist, and they can't stop swearing.

Because they compare a girl to an animal.

And have problems with COFFEE.

Because they never fail to make me laugh.

Never fail to cheer me up.

And never ever fail to be there for me,

whether or not they know anything's wrong.

So I'm going to take time out of my busy schedule to say YO WHADDAP to them.

And to tell them that they mean the world to me.

And no one could ask for better friends then you guys.

:)

One is black.

One has a big nose.

One is a maid.

One has a big butt.

I DIG THAT. DAAAAAMNNN.

Oh, you stood by me, belief.

You know when you dream of someone,

and for the next few hours,

it feels like you got to know that person more,

even though everything isn't real.

That you feel you could tell them their favorite color,

the exact shade of their hair,

the smell of their skin.

Even though you don't remember what is it of them you dreamt about.

The feeling that the other person is closer to you,

Or holds an intimacy with you,

only because they appeared when you are asleep?

It's funny how dreams work out to be that way.

They make you believe what isn't real for a moment.

That you aren't this dumpy teenage chick waiting for someone to love you.

You were invincible.

Hell, you were cool in your dreams.

You walked like you owned the world.

You smiled at people you don't know.

And you fall in love with someone who doesn't even exist.

Not anymore.

I woke up today.

For the first 10 seconds.

I wasn't where I am now.

Not in this room with my striped sheets over my legs.

Not in my red shorts, and lion mane.

Nor my wooden floor and purple walls.

I was with you.

On some random island, some random beach.

Drinking some random red drink.

In some random bikini.

At some random tiki bar.

Why do I wake, feeling that I have to find you?

That you're out there somewhere.

That I know what you're like,

but I don't know who you are.

Dreams,

Such strange things.

Goodnight.

TUNING INTO: Self Inflicted - Katy Perry

An ocean of emotion,

it rips me wide open.

But it could be so simple.

Life should be that simple.

Q: How was being sailor girl for a day?

A: Fun, fun. Everyone thought I was Korean. Geez, Korean chicks get away with everything. Haha. A little too much attention for my liking. But ah well, that's design for you, eh?

Love.

That's the funny thing about it.

You say love is at it's worst when it doesn't love at all.

When the one you love, does not love you back.

That's when it hurts like a living bullet.

Every minute it comes blasting through your heart.

Every thought of where his hands had roamed.

Where his kiss has brushed.

Where his arms have been.

Around yours.

Around you.

Around someone else?

You say it hurts when they don't love you back.

But love hurts the most when it's full of love, but they're not there at all.

It's when every part of you aches for someone else.

Not because they aren't yours anymore,

because they still are.

Not because they aren't loyal to you,

because they still are.

Not because you don't see them,

because you still do.

At every corner,

behind every head,

in every smile,

hidden beneath the eyes.

You think it hurts when you see them with other people?

Try not seeing them at all.

You think it hurts to know that they're happy when they're not with you?

Try not knowing how they're feeling.

You think it sucks bumping into them every now and then?

Try not feeling them around anymore.

You see,

people say it's better to have loved and lost,

than to not have loved at all.

But sometimes,

when you have loved,

and someone else has loved you back.

And you have lost,

because they're not around,

they no longer exist,

they'll never come back.

Because they're six feet under the ground.

And the closest you can get is their names carved on a stone.

Gone too young, forever missed.

That they'd never know the flowers you got them.

Or how each day is empty because they aren't there to match against.

Your wishes, your hopes, your plans, your dreams.

They'd never know the smell that lingers on your clothes.

Or the little things you see that make you cry for no reason.

The way someone pushes back her own hair.

The way someone slings his bag over one shoulder.

How everywhere you go,

you see him in every shadow.

You expect, you wish.

You mistake.

And you crave that 5 seconds when you wake

where you don't remember anything,

and your dreams are swimming in your mind in a muddle.

Before reality comes swinging it's hammer.

And bashing it's way into your delirium.

You'll understand, that in a way.

Day after day.
The best, would be to not have loved at all.